Be Still Know
Isaiah 43:19 (NLT)
‘For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.’
The wilderness is the place in which our darkest fears stalk us. We feel beyond our capacity to cope and come under severe pressure. It’s a pressure that is unrelenting and one for which we have few human management strategies. In the wilderness we begin to doubt ourselves, lose hope and even wonder if we’re losing our sanity. While we might recall where we entered the wilderness we are uncertain when we shall ever walk out of it.
My own mistake was assuming that after Katey lost her battle with MS, then a period of grieving would be the beginning of the end of the wilderness. Imagine my shock and consternation when all that did was to carry me into a new wilderness experience. Try as I might I couldn’t re-establish connection with those who I’d worked with historically. People who I needed to connect with to find my way back into the world of work I’d surrendered to become a carer. Fearful of how I was to make ends meet, angry at what appeared to be rejection, and exhausted emotionally and physically from 18 years of caring, I turned in deeper upon myself and like Jonah sat down and invited death to envelop me.
However, there was always a thin thread that led to God and somehow I held on and began to capture some of my reflections, not least in an attempt to make these my heartfelt prayers for help to God. It was God beginning a new thing long before I recognised it as such. A new form of communication, a new level of friendship with God and a fresh sense of calling.
In this way my wilderness didn’t precisely end. Rather it became a source of life, where it had previously only offered death. I learned that in humbly acknowledging God’s leadership in my life that I might ever deepen my appreciation of Him and discover more of Him.
QUESTION: What threads are there for you to follow that may lead you closer to God?
PRAYER: O Lord, I trust you who began a good work in me to carry it through to completion.