Day 21 – Issue 13

Be Still Know

Psalm 69:1 NLT

Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck.

Throughout life it’s very easy to point the finger. I guess the misdemeanours and weaknesses in others are easier for us to identify than in ourselves. We tend to be blinded to our own fault lines. Years of living with ourselves has provided time to develop effective disguises with which we deceive ourselves, if not others. One group I’ve discovered who provide an easy target are addicts; more precisely those addicted to alcohol, tobacco or illegal drugs.

I have only had moderate dealings with those battling alcohol and drug abuse, yet have found myself growing irritated and quite angry at the procession of carefully crafted lies with which each abuser seeks to distract both me and them from the real issue. Yet, each one of us has some form of addiction; it’s just that society tolerates some more than others. I would class the accumulation of wealth beyond what is reasonable for anyone to live on, as an addiction to money.

I think my addiction since a child has been the search for popularity. The harder I searched for it – performing on platforms, managing projects, facilitating other people’s dreams – the harder it became to secure. Only now as I find myself, by my own estimation, relatively isolated and alone, with the majority of my apparent friendships of the last 40 years redundant, I have chosen to rip off the disguise and name that addiction.

With the psalmist I’ve spent too many years feeling as though I’m drowning and my life is being taken from me. I’ve called out to God to rescue me, yet not really been prepared to become completely transparent with him. I’ve failed to believe that there is in fact fullness of life in Christ, assuming that if only I might establish some human friendships I would discover a rich inner fulfilment and contentment. How deluded I was. Now I seek my wholeness in God alone.

QUESTION: What is it that you might be addicted to?

PRAYER: Lord, free me from my appetites, addictions and need for approval. Lead my heart and soul to find its peace and satisfaction in you.