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Proverbs 12:25 (NLT)
‘Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.’
There is nothing more debilitating than worry and anxiety. I remember as we faced the reality of our childlessness, we were given all sorts of medical advice aimed at assisting us in conceiving. This involved making love when Katey ovulated. This in turn required her to maintain a temperature chart to pinpoint the day concerned. This of course led to a phone call, a mad dash home and an attempt to create the child for which we longed.
Of course the very mechanical methodology offered to us robbed our relationship of anything more than a vain attempt to produce a child. Our life became consumed with the need to conceive, which can never be the sole purpose of any meaningful marriage. Being so narrowly focused we lost sight of each other. I came to hate sleeping with my wife, since it was for an objective other than the fact that I loved her and she loved me. We nearly lost each other in the pursuit of an objective which is only ever at best one aspect of the reality of marriage.
While the anxiety grew in its intensity, with a consequential sharpness in the words we directed towards each other, we failed to value the great gift we were to each other and the kind words that affirmed such gift. Our anxiety created space for harsh and bitter exchanges, ones that undermined our commitment to each other. Fortunately we both came to realise that the pursuit of pregnancy at any cost was a fool’s errand. Childlessness is no disease, merely a situation that demands we recalibrate our expectations and reimagine our future together.
As we did so kind words returned. We recognised the great gift we were to each other and affirmed the love we had that had first drawn us together. In rediscovering kindness in our approach to each other we equally discovered the intense ache for a child of our own reduced. We were able to step from the cloud of our own disappointment and cheerfully engage with life, God and others afresh.
QUESTION: Will you ask God to give you an opportunity to be kind to someone today?
PRAYER: Lord, replace the anxiety and fear within me and free me to bless those you’ve put in my life.
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