Be Still Know
Psalm 119:25b NLT
‘Revive me by your word.’
It is incredible, the different ways we can get stuck to the dust. Sometime ago I applied for a position with a leading Christian agency. This was work I was engaged with when I withdrew to care for Katey. It seemed it was an opportunity to return and close that chapter of my Christian service in a more positive way. I sailed through the interviews, and the recruitment agency all but said the job was mine, then my references were taken up. The next thing I knew, there was an awkward phone call from the recruitment agency, requesting more references. Something was wrong.
When I failed to secure the job, and no one else was appointed, I was angry, confused and helpless. I had, and was provided with, no clear information why I’d failed to get it. I even Skyped with the CEO, but to no avail, and he concluded by saying he wouldn’t communicate anymore. I’d been firm but not difficult or rude.
Now, the danger of getting stuck in the dust is that it is only a small step from death. I began to obsess about the reason behind my failure. My mind raced and I became slightly paranoid that there was something in my past that I couldn’t recall. I was restless and unable to focus on anything but myself. This is death, for I was separated from the presence of God.
With effort I began deliberately to turn back to God and look for him to revive my crushed self-esteem, my unwillingness to be a failure, my sense of injustice in the silence of unknowing. I reflected upon Jesus who, as a sheep before his shearers had remained dumb, moved forward with his life and ministry regardless of the senselessness of his circumstances. It took time to let go of my outrage, and yet in doing so I found more of God and chose to let go of that life I’d led within evangelicalism. The good I’d done was a timeless deposit of hope in its day. Now it was time to let go and move on and explore who I was today, a man with a history that was set, yet more importantly, with a future yet to emerge and take shape.
QUESTION: Where do you find you are stuck?
PRAYER: Lord, keep me moving, keep me following, and help me run the race.