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Psalm 24:4b NLT
‘Who do not worship idols and never tell lies.’
As a child I frequently imagined myself scoring the winning goal in the FA Cup Final or hitting a six back over the bowler’s head at Lord’s. Sadly, as I progressed into adulthood the imagination kept firing. Only this time I didn’t so much imagine myself in some future moment of self-glorification; I actually imagined I was of greater significance than I was.
There were some obvious reasons for this. Platforms distort perception and can create a high degree of self-deceit. The adulation of the crowd is a drug that led in my case to diminished responsibility – I believed in the power of my own performance, merely tipping my hat to the power of the Holy Spirit. Successful communication, advancement at work, an abundance of diary bookings, together with a comfortable income, only nurtured and then nourished my own vanity. While acknowledging I did all this for God and through God’s grace, I secretly developed an arrogant self-confidence around which I expected my whole world to orbit.
As I worked at becoming a legend within the overinflated corridors of my own imagination, I completely failed to see that my pursuit of God was in vain, a futile exercise in self-promotion. While my mental meteoric rise was occasionally punctured by the grace of God, I failed to pay heed and took my stand upon the lie of my own vain imaginings. My faith was in myself and my ‘godliness’, which I alone defined and which didn’t come from God.
Vain imaginings, where I think of myself too highly, merely distract me from my call into God’s service and my availability to him in worship and in work. Those who desire to see God and climb his mountain must first arrive at a sober understanding of their true nature, earnest only to do what God inspires and initiates within and through them.
QUESTION: It can be a mistake to think too little or too much of yourself. Which are you more prone to do?
PRAYER: Lord, help me see myself as you see, deeply flawed but deeply loved.
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