Day 43 – Issue 18

Be Still Know

Jonah 1:3

‘But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord. He went down to the port of Joppa, where he found a ship leaving for Tarshish. He bought a ticket and went on board, hoping to escape from the Lord by sailing to Tarshish.’

Recently I was part of an extensive team working together to deliver a long term listening process. It raised many questions within me. I love facilitating groups and dialogue is such a creative way to enable people to find a shared voice. This voice contains the many harmonies that enrich the tune, even though most at the outset would rather the notation be created for only one vocal range. The diverse harmonies intricately woven together create a piece of music of depth and richness in which while no one voice dominates, each voice is heard and proves essential to effective performance.

My concern was less about fleeing from God as it was retreating into myself. During the process I became aware that my voice didn’t enrich the facilitator’s choir. The result was that I separated myself from the group. Always showing up as engaged and humorous, which is my natural disposition, as the events unfolded I sat alone for meals and stole away to my room rather than sit in the bar to conclude the day.

Part of this experience was personal insecurity, a frequent companion as we interact with others. Yet, more importantly I felt the weight of aloneness without being able to calculate the extent to which this was a healthy part of a call into the hermit’s life and how far I exhibited characteristics that pushed people away and kept them at arm’s length.

I believe that the degree to which you are present with yourself is one measure of the degree to which you are able to become present with God. Inner angst draws us deeper into self absorption decreasing the space for God encounter.

QUESTION: How present are you with yourself?

PRAYER: Heavenly Father today i want to be close to you, to spend awhile in your presence. Come Holy Spirit, be with me, fill me, flow through me to others, today and always.