John 12:19 NLT
Then the Pharisees said to each other, ‘There’s nothing we can do. Look, everyone has gone after him!’
This past month has seen me move from my home of 18 years to a new abode; in part, significantly downsizing, yet creating space for Mum to move in and live with us as family. A new style of community will emerge, and I shall enjoy exploring its many twists and turns as it is first established, and then matures.
Not only was I facing leaving the security the bricks and mortar had afforded me, my family and our extended community, I was also challenged with my security in God. While the initial idea of relocating was exciting, as I considered the changes I needed to make – location, routine, my treasured location memories – I was frightened. I was uncertain how to make the leap from my customary pattern of life to a whole new rhythm in an unfamiliar space. I was moving from an urban experience that stretched back to my 20s to a more rural context. I was inheriting a garden with no knowledge of what gardening actually entailed. I was frankly intimidated and doubted myself in many ways.
As I carried these worries to God, I anticipated a warm response from the Divine with God’s peace returning to my troubled self. However, this was not the case, and I began to experience a lot of internal stress – at a level I hadn’t for many years. One consequence was that I began to get confused and forget things, such as confirmatory emails to removal companies. Internally I was in quite a mess, and subsequently felt moments of great anxiety. Lost and confused, it was easy to take my eyes off God, whose apparent loss of interest in my welfare frustrated me, and turn in upon myself. The God who’d offered so much previously was absent – choices lay within my own grasp.
I recognised just how easy it might be simply to consign God to my past and look to building my future without God involved.
QUESTION: How do you respond to change in your life? How can you stay focused on God?
PRAYER: Faithful One, you are the same yesterday, today and forever; be the sure foundation of my life.