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Day 18 - Issue 14

John 12:20-21 NLT

Some Greeks who had come to Jerusalem for the Passover celebration paid a visit to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee. They said, ‘Sir, we want to meet Jesus.’

I described yesterday how an unexpected level of anxiety impacted me as a result of a very logical decision to move house. As a result I lost sight of Jesus, and my confidence in God’s ability to take care of me and my loved ones. In reflecting on this, I have discovered that my first port of call when engulfed with stress was the mind and an attempt to manage myself and my changing circumstances through rationalism. Yet, for heart matters, the mind sadly offers little comfort.

Like the Greeks who approached Jesus’ disciples with a simple request, ‘We want to see Jesus’, I desperately desired to set eyes upon my Lord once more. Jesus’ answer to these Hellenistic enquirers was to invite them to consider the mystery that is faith. I don’t imagine his answer offered much hope to those whose worldview was built upon rational scepticism. Our own age struggles with the concept of mystery. It forever wants to know the end from the beginning and is ever more risk-averse. Yet, the threshold of mystery is personal risk, for faith may never know. Faith may conjecture and trust, yet cannot prove to the satisfaction of the rational mind.

Caught up in my own anxiety, I lost my bearings. My spiritual compass became disengaged as I fought to control my destiny from the bridge of my own understanding alone. Yet, no matter how hard I fought, it was no match for the internal storms of my own disquiet. I lost touch with the silence and peace of the Divine, hence my inner ‘disquiet’, the very opposite of the life Jesus promised all who faithfully follow.

Listening is always the point of entry into the walk of faith. We listen to God in our personal, private space and throughout the world around us. Listen that we might discern the mystery of each moment. Listen that we might make a conscious decision to choose mystery of rationalism, Christ over scepticism, hope over despair.

QUESTION: How hard do you find it to really listen; to other people or to God?

PRAYER: Lord Jesus, still all other voices but yours, still my heart and mind, so I may know yours. 

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