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Day 32 - Issue 14

Hebrews 12:2a NLT

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.

I’ve mentioned before that focus is not one of my gifts. I all too easily drift out of the conversation and get completely absorbed with my own thoughts. Or I quickly become distracted with something beyond the issue in hand. Jayne many times has to remind me that I’m supposed to be paying close attention, yet detail has little appeal to me and so within minutes I’ve diverted my attention elsewhere.

This is much like the spiritual life. For years I pursued great projects for God, yet for me these became my greatest distraction from God. I loved the cut and thrust of birthing something, yet once established I very quickly lost interest. I was forever the initiator, never the one to offer ongoing supervision and maintenance. Indeed, my spiritual life was somewhat like that. An early adopter, I easily chased after fresh expressions of congregational life and community witness. These offered stimulation and excitement, yet what I was really doing was feeding my own inability to ‘Be Still and Know’ the God who’d created me. What’s more I discovered that without knowing it, I was avoiding facing up to the person I truly was.

For a period I don’t suppose there was anything wrong with this; however, once it became established as a pattern of life, I failed to see the addictive nature of chasing the apparently ‘new’ at the expense of my own spiritual and social well-being. I was forever gazing into the distance, running to catch up, breathless from the very experience of orientating myself to God’s ‘now’ word and ‘current’ revelation. Thinking myself found, I was in fact deeply lost, plunging ever deeper in a forest of fresh theological speculation, in the hope that I might finally discover full acceptance in Christ and find peace within.

In an apparent search of the truth of God, I was exhausted with little chance of recognising God even were I to meet him face to face.

QUESTION: Does it feel like you are forever seeking yet never finding? Are you restless?

PRAYER: Unchanging One, there is always more to discover, yet in you there is no rush or hurry. Help me find my soul’s rest in you.

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